After a season full of suspense, drama, intrigue and Visanthe Shiancoe showing his dong on national television, we are down to what might just be the most craptastic final four in NFL history.
Does the NFL feel bad for the Rooney family for some reason? Does Mike Tomlin have compromising photos of Roger Goodell smoking crack with one of the "Flavor of Love" girls? Because all that stands between the Steelers and their sixth Super Bowl title is a rookie quarterback.
The AFC side of the ledger isn't that bad. The NFC's is, simply put, putrid. Seriously? This is the best the NFC could come up with? A team that tied the Cincinnati Bengals, and the Arizona fucking Cardinals?
RAVENS vs. STEELERS: Someone is going to die in this game. Seriously.
I can picture James Harrison and Ray Lewis meeting each other at midfield before the game for an unarmed battle to the death. I'd have to give Lewis the edge, since he has experience killing people, but it should at least be fun to watch.
The game, however, won't be. Both teams play the same boring style -- run the ball up the middle and pray that the quarterback doesn't fuck up. At least Baltimore's Joe Flacco has an excuse, being a rookie and all. Ben Roethlisberger, on the other hand, will hereafter be referred to as Lennie from Of Mice And Men. The guy is a dumbass.
If you like points, this game will not be for you. I still think the Steelers will win, but if this ends up 10-7 or something ridiculous like that I won't be surprised in the least.
EAGLES vs. CARDINALS: Wow. Just ... wow.
The Eagles were dead in the water about two months ago after the Ravens kicked the living bejesus out of them and Donovan McNabb watched the second half of the game from the bench. They're playing a lot better now, but it took an epic pants-shitting by the Giants on Sunday for Philly to get here.
The Cardinals? This just ain't right. This is upsetting the cosmic order. The Cards are supposed to be awful. It's just the way things are meant to be. Arizona is where good (sometimes great) careers go to die (see Smith, Emmitt; James, Edgerrin; Warner, Kurt). Arizona is not supposed to be hosting an NFC Championship game. This is the football equivalent of the Giant Hadron Collider.
Who will be the sacrificial lamb for the Super Bowl? Does it matter?
On a personal note, I'll be rooting for the Eagles. I really don't need to deal with the Steelers fans; the Ravens are pure evil; and I just can't fathom seeing Bill Bidwell holding up the Lombardi Trophy. Plus, the idea that McNabb is in a position to win a Super Bowl before T.O. brings a tear to my eye.
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